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You're In Guard If...

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300 ways to tell you're in guard!

1.You walk on step to all music you hear.
2.You spin pencils/pens/mops/brooms/pool cues, etc.
3.You have a drawer full of flag t-shirts.
4.You're constantly involved in fund raisers (wanna buy a candy bar?)
5.The term attitude has lost all meaning.
6.You know where every highschool in your circuit is located.
7.You are an expert at assembling backdrops.
8.When you hear a song you've done a routine to you get estatic.
9.When you hear a song by a group you used to get estatic.
10.You've seen 3:30 in the morning many times.
11.Seperate checks in a restaurant are the best thing to ever happen to you.
12.Your lucky if your instructor gets you name right.
13.You're considered lucky if your instructer noticed your haircut.
14.You know how to wrap your own bandages.
15.You have a flag calus on your right palm under your small finger.
16.You have a permanent rifle bruise on your left and right thumbs.
17.You have more inside jokes than any of your other friends.
18.You can smiles genuinly on command.
19.Your priorities are slightly askew.
20.You have an excuse for everything.
21.You can catch anything thrown at you.
22.You find yourself telling your friends to run for chewing gum.
23.You find yourself telling your friends to run for swearing.
24.Every song becomes a possible flag routine.
25.You know the perfect spot for a toss in your favorite songs.
26.Finals are a positive thing.
27.Your calluses are less stressful than practice.
28.You know that "one more time" never means one more time.
29.You can do your hair and make-up anywhere.
30.You can change into your uniform anywhere.
31.Someone who can throw a piece of wood 40ft in the air and catch it becomes your hero.
32.You find yourself designing flags/uniforms/drill in your classes.
33.You've missed more 4th periods than you've been to.
34.You can change, go to the bathroom, and go to your locker in 4.5 min.
35.You laugh like everyone else on your guard.
36.You use two hands to tell your left from your right.
37.You count all music to beats of 6 or 8.
38.You constantly watch t.v. dance shows for a good new move.
39.Watching a 1/2 show has become more then a leisure activity.
40.Leaving your seat at 1/2 time would be considered a sin.
41.You know how many people can be crammed into a minivan,
42.Lycra-spandex has become a permanent part of your closet.
43.You have never taken a dance class but you know more terms than in the foreign language you took.
44.The soles of your practice shoes have holes in them from doing to many terms.
45.You've left your house wearing things you swore you never would like hair curlers, spandex, 2 tons of makeup,etc.
46.You've been in a wrestler room when there were no wrestlers.
47.You've been in a guys locker room when there were no guys in it.
48.Getting a sip of water is considered an act of love and kindness from your instructor.
49.You find yourself critqueing every parade you see.
50.Caravans are run like well oiled machinery.
51.You will not consider anything over $5 dinner while at a competition.
52.The bandroom becomes your home away from home.
53.You become your own pharmacist.
54.Anyone who carries fem. products becomes your best friend.
55.You know how many teenage girls you can fit in a hotel room.
56.You know how to manage 9 girls and 1 bathroom.
57.You wish they offered time/money/stress management in school.
58.You wish they offered nap time in school.
59.The term battle of the sexes has been turned into battle of the bands/guards.
60.You can mock all other bands/guards quite well.
61.4 1/2 hours of sleep before a competition is considered lucky.
62.You know what jell-o arms and legs feel like.
63.You've considered dating a band/percussion member or have dated one.
64.Your parents know of more h.s. now than when they wer in h.s.
65.Asking your parents for money has reached the extreme.
66.Having your show finished the day before your first competiton/performance is considered lucky.
67.You know nothing is ever definite.
68.There's no such thing as a "summer vacation".
69.The smell of sun screen makes you think of band camp.
70.Getting 2 new uniforms a year is a rarity.
71.You're the last people to hear about the pep rally and the first the perform at them.
72.Coming home before 4:30pm on a weekday almost never happens.
73.You've spent more money on flags than you have on your college education.
74.You've never worked so hard for a chunk of wood w/some metal on it (trophey).
75.You never could teach your dog to fetch cause everything you throw you have to catch yourself.
76.No matter how good your guard is you still get the smallest coverage in the yearbook.
77.The keds sales lady knows you personly.
78.The school nurse knows you and your parents by name.
79.You know what a fulcrum is.
80.Your guard has developed its own language.
81.You know that if you try something wierd it might just end up in your show.
82.Your school locker is an uncharted area to you.
83.The term democracy is not in your vocabulary.
84.You try more stunts than the cheerleaders.
85.You learn to love your instructer when you see other guards shows and uniforms.
86.You went to every school football game but never paid for one.
87.Your nails have never extended beyond your finger tips.
88.You know what's significant about June 14th (if not look at your calender).
89.You know wheather you've passed your limit or not.
90.You know how to bend any rule.
91.You've never actually watched a football game.
92.You can get any teacher to sympathize w/you and let you off for that missing assignment.
93.You say guard halt when you want your friends to stop.
94.You have had more pics taken of you than any of your friends.
95.Your personl best is 60 push ups in one day.
96.You can arm wrestle any band/chorus/drama/cheerleading member and win.
97.You have electrical tape in your back pack.
98.You have a screwdriver in your back pack.
99.You have hit yourself in the head w/a flag/rifle/sabre more times than you would like to think about or can think about!
100.Your friends have had to sedate you for using a measuring stick and/or musical insturment bow to practice sabre blade tosses.
101.You walk in step with your guard friends.
102.You can talk about practically anything at practice and competitons no matter who's around.
103.When you hear "learn this" while you picking up your stuff.
104.You march to the back ground music in the mall.
105.You jazz walk/run at home, school, mall, etc..
106. You do split leaps down every hall you come to.
107.Every time you find a bruise/scrape on yourself, you automatically know you got it at a guard rehearsal.
108.You've used up all the white out covering up the marks on the ceiling/wall from the rifle you WEREN'T spinnning in the house...and need more.
109.You cheer louder than the cheerleaders at football games.
110.When you are together so much (because of practice or just getting together) that you all get your period at the same time!
111. When your instructor feels she has enough on the job training to look for a 2nd job as a hairstylist/makeup artist to supplement her income during the summer
112.When all your "outside the guard" friends roll their eyes and whisper not again, as u talk about how cool ur show is, and how u manage to "nail" ur tosses everytime.
113.When you can drop spin and carry on a conversation, and jazz step all at the same time, with out even thinking about it.
114.When you point your toes in your sleep.
115.When you get teary eyed when you have to put your saber down so you can eat dinner.
116. When Colorguard is practically all you talk about!
117.When your colorguard friends is all you talk to.
118. When you spend 10-15 hours of your day practicing on spinning!
119.When you spend all your free time looking at band related websites.
120. When you look at the websites of other bands in your area just to get the inside info on their show.
121. Your out of guard friends have heard so much about guard, they are almost pros at it!
122. when you''ve left more bruises on band members (especially the drumline!) than on yourself, and are proud of it!
123.Your friends notice bruises on you and you didn't even know that they were there!
124. When it becomes a game to see how many patches and buttons fit on a letter jacket
125. When you don't own any socks that don't have holes in them
126. When the only age that matters is 22
127. When you have one giant brown grass spot in the backyard from practicing so much
128. When stadium nachos and hot dogs are a delicacy
129. When not wearing underwear for fear of pantylines is a constant thing
130. When you have 4 tan lines-tee shirt, gloves, shorts, and socks
131. When the words 'one more time' really means 15 more
132. When gatorade, cheeseballs, and fruit loops is the breakfast of champions
133. When you fold the floor more times than your laundry
134. When the gym/football feild is your second home
135. When styrofoam flats are your favorite hiding place
136. When spaceburgers make sense
137. When you can see yourself trying to make your make-up darker
138. When nike blush checks are a fashion statement
139. When your speed dial consists of your captain, director, and show writer
140. When you forget how to count above 8
141. You make up routines in your head to songs on the radio
142. When you have 6 different uniforms in your closet
143. When you try and guess the height of the guard by the size of the pole
144. When you have a roll of duct tape next to your bed
145. When school nachos actually taste good
146. When you have 10 silks folded in your garage
147. When the blisters on your blisters don't hurt anymore
148. When you look for flags in commercials that show bands
149. When you own a copy of every show you've ever done 150. When band music actually begins to sound good
150. When you pay way too much money for a video from a guard competition
151. When you refuse to date outside the band
152. Life? What's that?
153. When you always step off on the left foot
154. When you see the guard more than your family
155. You have 2 rifles and sabres. One for practice and one for performance
156. When you name your equipment
157. When the only song you have stuck in your head is your marching show from 2 years ago
158. When you glide step in the mall
159. When you begin to look good in show make-up
160. When your senior ring lives on your necklace
161. When you break a bone and still insist that you can march (even if on crutches)

162. When you still spend the same amount of time with your band after you graduate
163. You only go to football games to see the halftime shows

164. you find yourself switching feet to get back on-step while walking through the mall
165.When you name all your bruises.
166. When getting dressed up to go to school means wearing what you'll have wear to practice that night.
167. When riding in sections to a football game is the biggest dilemma of the day.
168. When you catch yourself spinning your pencil in Algebra class.
169. When all your teachers and classmates have seen your guard videos at least twice.
170. When your classmates roll their eyes at you for talking about the band, yet again.
171. When everyone knows that you are in guard by the t-shirts you wear.
172. When you show up for everything at least 15 minutes early(even parties).
173. When you wake up in the morning and put your dot book or drill charts on not thinking.
174. When you wear your hair slicked back every where you go.
175. When the people at Home Depot know you by name.
176. When vending machine food becomes gormet.
177. you have had the words "left! right! left! right!" repeatedly screamed at you and you are not in the army
178. You permanently project to the press box wheather that meant the top of the six foot tall basketball player in front of you's head or the top of the doorway
179. You toss your flag even when they're 50 m.p.h. winds
180. When you choose a college for the colorguard and winterguard directors and programs
181. you have hit yourself in the head so many times, not only can you not count, it doesn't even hurt any more
182.when the local Denny's is you second home, but only because you spend more time at school
183.When you always have to walk in step, even if they aren't in colorguard
184.When you go to see other school's football games just to see their colorguard, and who you're up against.
185.When you in your loud english class your teacher yells, "Attention" and you look forward and sit up straight and don't make eye contact with anyone.
186.You love rainy days, because it gives you a chance to spin (your umbrella) in school (And show off too!)
187.Your unguard friends know that you're almost never available to go out
188.You jump up and down when you hear a song that a guard once did
189.Guard tape is the best thing that has happened since sliced bread
190.Guard tape fixes everything
191.When the "can i have 5 extra mins" turns into a midnight practice
192.When you find yourself dancing everywhere
193.When there is more holes in the school hall way where you practice then Swiss cheese
194.When you have more gay friends then straight
195.When getting new members is the most exciting thing that happened to you
196.When you have seen the same WGI or DCI tape a thousand times and still enjoy it
197.When you pick out thing in the same tapes
198.You listen to the judges tapes more then the radio
199.When you don't think anything of bare feet in the snow
200.When the only jacket you own has the name of your guard on it
201.When you practice more then the band that can only play the star spangled banner
202.When you look forward to getting new gloves
203.When you love the black stain from the new gloves
204.When you are told this is so hard you really walk 5 steps
205.When stretches are your favorite part of the day
206.When you have a song for everything that has happened
207.You know how to sleep with the your music on 10 and the bus going 60mph
208.You take over guys bathrooms b/c the girls is too full
209.Changing in front of guys doesn't phase you anymore
210.You have see more skin from the same sex then the opposite
211.You can talk about "your body" with easy
212.When it all seem to be a soap opera with ups and downs
213.When you work at a bingo hall
214.When you miss some one you saw 5 mins ago
215.You see the same people all day everyday
216.The closest group you have every been in
217.When you spend more time with the guard then your own family
218.When you have practice 5 days a week and enjoy every second
219.You know all of your friends by their last names or a name that is completely awkward to others and they wouldn't be caught dead calling anyone that...
220. You have been in a guys locker room when there WERE guys in it!
221.. Your friends have heard about your routine so much that they can probably get out on the field and do your routine with you!
222. You have dated every guy in the band, and are starting to wonder what life would be like if there wasn't marching band!
223. You have become so accustomed to waking up at 5 am that you do it when you don't have to. (Saturdays, Sundays, days w/ no school or marching practice.)
224. You can march your show in your sleep
225.You say the pledge of alligience to YOUR flag
226. Seeing how fast you can fold the floor becomes your primary form of entertainment
227.You find it easier to fall asleep in a van along with seven other girls than in your own bed
228.While your non-guard friend sleep with tedy bears and other various stuffed animals, you sleep with your flag, rifle, and/or sabre
229.If your room is covered with good luck signs.
230.If you have gotten a black eye from doing a toss!
231.If you catch your self doing air flag while walking down the hallway or while you are sleeping!
232.If you think you will die when the season is over.
233.When you are doing a horizontal toss and you know that it won't make it too far and it smacks you in the face.
234.You own more stretch pants and tank tops then you do regular clothes.
235.When you make a website dedicated to guard.
236.When you have prayed all season for a break before the next season, be it colorguard or winterguard, then you spend the whole thing crying, cause your muscles aren't used to resting for that long.
237.When your boyfriend has been to as many practices and games as you have!
238.When you like wearing your uniform.
239.When people ask you about your social life and you say "Oh, you mean my flag.
240.When being mauled by a drum is a normal part of life.
241.When you can show up to practice in your pajamas and dripping wet and no one notices.
242.When jazz running no longer reminds you of ballet.
243.When "armed guard" means a girl with a pole instead of a guy with a gun.
244.When you see your section more than your family.
245.When you subconsciously start practicing with a pencil.
246.When numbers past 8 aren't important.
247.When you'd rather practice than read the list.
248. You have more bruises, scars, and injuries than a military solider
249. Your teacher makes you write on the board, "I will not spin in class" fifty times.
250. You find yourself watching your spring show routine from freshman year thinking was I ever that bad?
251. Automatically you know what the captain is going to say and you do it before anyone else (most of the time)
252. Weekends are forever lost to practice
253. When you ask "What is summer vacation?"
254. When you stand at parade attention to say the pledge to the flag at school
255. When you can do drop-spins at any tempo with ANYTHING (penciles, forks, brooms, air)
256. When you actually like to watch the Thankgiving day parade for the bands, not those stupid balloons
257. When you can do splits in gurdles
258. When you are rivles with all the chearleaders
259. The funny smell in the guard room in no longer noticeable to you
260. The only nail polish you wear in the winter is clear or none at all
261. When there is a possiblity it will snow, and your competition will be cancelled, you pray that it won't snow
262. When you spend all your money at competitions on guard shirts, boxers, etc. instead of food
263. You can mimick all the annoucers in your circuit
264. Have a dresser dedicated to guard unitards socks pantyhouse and silks
265. You go to the mall to try to find something new to make your rifle colorful
266. The Home Depot (Hardware store) is you favorite place to shop.
267. All your screen names have something to do with Color Guard.
268. You've eaten out more then anyone you know.
269. You anylize every song you hear for Winter Gaurd Standards.
270. You always have to find the perfect Drill Team song, and you go crazy when
you finally find one. 271. Your boyfriend owns more Color Guard shirts then the store that sells them.
272. You own every cd that contains a song used at a Winter Guard show.
273. Your non-guard friends think you're crazy becuase you've always got songs that they've never heard of stuck in your head.
274. Your Boyfriend has a copy of your schedule hanging in his room.
275. You've used the word "FRESHMAN!" more then a billion times.
276. Your guard instructor invites you to preform at her wedding.
277. You critique migrating geese on how straight their diagonals are!
278. You mark time in the shower(or whenever standing still.
279. You hear "this isn't K-mart we don't like/want 'sails'" more than once a week.
280.The phrase water break has a whole new meaning.
281. You are the only one to have a screwdriver handy during any season.
282. You find many new uses for a sabre
283. Your best friend becomes a six foot pole and three foot silk
284. Your phrase becomes this isn't we don't like sales
285. You spend your lunch period trying to break into the guard room just so you can spin your equiptment
286. Getting locked in the band's coat box is an honor
287. Being friends w/ anyone outside of the band just seems unnormal
288. You listen to your guard tapes as you fall asleep
289. Your family knows your entire show, inside and out
290. You get a shock from leaving the band room b/c the air is so CLEAN
291. You arrive at the school on the days you have practice so early that the school isn't even open
292. When your instructor says rehearsal is at six, you are there by five thirty or you are LATE
293.When you meet your friends places you are always half an hour early
294.. When you have no problem at all telling one of the members of your guard that they smell and they are not offended
295. When pit stains are cool
296. When your little sister plays with, touches, or even LOOKS at your weapon, you jump on her like a lion on a mouse
297. You've got a certain section of your wardrobe labeled "Guard Clothes" that you'd never be caught dead in anywhere but practice.
298. You go into Home Depot and ask for flag tape.
299. Electrical tape is used for everything (ie. labeling cabinets, putting up posters, fixing your flag bag, etc.)
300.You know you are in winterguard when you watch local basketball games on tv and can rememeber what shows you did there and how well you did. And exactly what the gym looks like