Jokes

In the beginning, there was nothing. On the first day (insert the story of creation here, adapt it as you will)...

On the eighth day, God was tired of the boringness of life, so He decided to spice it up. Therefore He decided to create a marching band.
First, He created the DRUMLINE. Once He heard them play, He covered his ears and ran screaming into space. Unfortunately, He could not undo His creation.

On the ninth day, He created the BRASS instruments. Thinking that this was the epitome of good music, He ordered them to play. Again, He ran screaming.

On the tenth day, He created the WOODWINDS. Fearing that He had done worse, He ordered them to play and sat cowering in a corner. He was surprised that they actually sounded decent(compared to the others).

On the eleventh day, he decided to put all of His musical creations together. Hearing them play, He decided something was missing.

So on the twelvth day, He created the most superior life form in the world of marching bands: The COLOR GUARD. Once He saw them perform, He was mesmerized. "These people are BY FAR THE BEST" he said. And that is the story of creation.

RIVALS...

There's a person from marching band driving from Springfeild to the Meadowlands, a person from colorguard was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and a drumline person who's driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets.
In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other and all cars go flying off in different directions. The colorguard member manages to climb out of the car and survey the damage. She looks at her twisted car and says, "Man, I am really lucky to be alive!" Likewise the marching band guy scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. The drumline person just shakes their head and says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!"
The marching band guy walks over to the drumline and colorguard people and says, "Hey guys, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of arch rivals." The drumline guy thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends."
The colorguard girl says "Let me see what else survived this wreck." So she pops open her trunk and finds a full unopened bottle of Jack Daniels.
She says to the drumline and marching band guys, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship." The drumline guy says, "You're right!" and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly a third of the bottle the drumline guy hands it to the marching band guy and says, "Your turn! The marching band guy sucks down a third and hands the bottle back to the Colorguard girl.
The Colorguard girl puts the cap back on the bottle and says, "I think I'll wait for the cops to show up."